Tag Archives: learning

Santa Didn’t Stop By Our House This Christmas

So, I am going to be completely transparent with you all today. I know that what I am about to say may make some people question my parenting and whether or not I am a good mother. However, I could honestly care less about those people right now. Most of my readers already understand and know who I am and what my children mean to me and how serious I take my role as a mother and role model. Either way, I do say this with great sadness but also with a peace that I did the right thing.

Before we get started, I want to pose a couple of questions to you. Feel free to answer in the comments section below or just within your own heart and mind as you read. Have you ever had to teach your children a lesson that you knew would hurt them? Did that lesson ultimately end up hurting you probably just as much, if not more, than it hurt your kids?

Yep, now you see how serious this is…

no-christmas-allowedI made the decision to cancel Christmas for my children this year. By that, I mean they did not receive any presents on Christmas morning. Now, I am not one who gets particularly bent on a day because I feel like I can buy presents all year round and any day of the year can be “Christmas” however, this day is, and always has been, a BIG day for my children (and most children, and
people, if we’re totally honest about it).

I did not withhold gifts due to poor grades because my children have been doing exceptionally well when it comes to their academics. I canceled Christmas for a couple of reasons. One of those reasons being that I have CHRISTmas
been trying to help my children understand the true meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate it in the first place. I want them to know and forever understand that Jesus truly is the one and ONLY reason for this season, and every season.

The second reason was because I have gotten to my wits end in continuing to have to remind my children to do their chores, to the point that I am even doing many of their chores for them, and I wanted to help them understand that EVERYONE
contributes in a family. Also that everyone has a role and kinopoisk.ruresponsibilities within our household and that when we don’t do our “job” things just don’t function as well as they could or should. There have been other behavior issues with a couple of the kids but this is the bulk of why I chose to not have presents wrapped and under the tree on Christmas morning.

I wrestled with the idea of withholding gifts for quite a while. I had actually gone out and purchased presents for each of my children, multiple presents mind you, but at the very last minute I decided that some of their behavioral issues needed to be addressed and dealt with a little differently this year. I also did this because my children are far from jesus-vs-santa babies but they are not yet teenagers so, my thinking was that if I don’t teach them now, and begin to hold them accountable for their actions, they will never truly learn and adhere to it later.

All was not lost for our Christmas. We celebrated Jesus, ate ice cream, listened to holiday music, sang to various songs, my two older girls recorded their Christmas Day YouTube vlogs and we watched an outrageous amount of classic Christmas movies. We also made our feast of a Christmas meal that we have done every year since the children were all very young. I think they may have enjoyed Christmas a little more this year, even without the gifts, but Christmas-giftsmaybe that’s just the mom in me being hopeful that they actually “got it!” but who knows.

My original plan was to have a late “gift exchange” this year but I am still debating that. I am always trying to make sure that I am sending the right message to my children and I don’t know if giving them their gifts, after-the-fact, is sending them mixed messages. Y’all pray for me! 🙂

I hope everyone had a glorious Christmas and I will be chatting with you again in the New Year! Happy Holidays to you all!

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Giving and Teaching

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.”    

— Chinese Proverb

This may very well be one of my favorite quotes in the entire world of quotes. When I think about this a story comes to mind about my childhood. My grandmother, who practically raised me when my mom and dad divorced because my mom worked nights, used to always use random quotes to get her point across while she tried to teach us unruly kid something about life. One of the quotes that I heard her say was the quote mentioned here. I never quite knew what it meant but I guess I had a good idea, even at that time, and I definitely would find out later in life exactly what these words entailed.

I am the second oldest of 4 but I am the oldest daughter of my sister and I. One day, as I was playing outside on one of the hottest summer days of the summer of 1995, I heard the ice cream truck so I quickly ran into the house, where my grandmother was cooking and I asked her for some money so that I could get some ice cream. Being the awesome and loving grandmother that she was, she gave me some money and I went to the truck and got my ice cream. Little did I know, there was a lesson waiting to be taught and grandma was just about ready to teach it.

You see, this had been my third time that week asking her for money although she would give me money for doing chores and things around the house, I ran through that money like it was “growing on trees” (another fave of granny, lol). As many kids this age – I had just turned 10 years old at that time – I felt like my family was rich and if I asked them for something, they just HAD to give it to me because I was their “baby” and, on top of that, I was the “good” child. Oh, don’t tell me…you’ve never thought that way, right? I know… 🙂

So, one day, during this same week, I had come home from day camp and was, again, playing outside. It was another scorching hot day, and I am still not sure how I didn’t pass out from exhaustion or dehydration because I hated drinking water at that age. I heard the ice cream truck and what do you think happened?… Yes, you’re right… I ran inside to ask grandma for some money but this time my awesome and loving grandmother was prepared. Before I could get a full sentence out, I guess she knew I was coming to ask for the almighty dollar once again, she stopped me and said, “Baby girl, I am not giving you any more money.” You would have thought that I had seen a ghost, I was totally caught off guard by this. Grandma continued, “However, I will help you make some money and even buy some things to show you how to continue to make money on your own.” You see, grandma was trying to “teach me how to fish” and she did. It was in that moment when I truly realized what this old Chinese proverb had meant.

To make a long story short, grandma and I went to the store, I believe it was Sams Club, and bought almost all of the boxes of small bags of chips, juices, freeze pops, nacho chips, ground beef, jalapenos and nacho cheese. Grandma even cooked the ground beef and warmed the cheese for me to make the nachos and before long our house became known as the “Candy Store” and was where all of the kids (both young and old) came to get their goodies. That was the beginning of my little side business and I setup shop every summer from then on, until we moved from that area. The lesson that I learned that day was more valuable than I think I realized at that time and it is now what I attribute my entrepreneurial spirit to today.

So, join in the discussion…share your stories, favorite quotes, anything that has ushered you into becoming the person that you are today. I’d love to hear them and learn about you.

Happy reading!

Stay Phenomenal,

ReNewed Chick