Tag Archives: #friendship

Delayed or Unanswered?

I met a young man while shopping.  He and I began talking and he happened to say something that would later send me on this journey of intense study and prayer.  He had recently gone through a very hurtful breakup with the mother of their infant daughter and said that he thought she was “the one” and now he was in a place of questioning and doubting God since he felt like God didn’t answer his prayers to be with this woman forever.  I’m sure many of us can relate to this type of doubt and unanswered-prayeruncertainty, in our own lives, in some way.  However, I could sense that this was much more than your typical doubt, if you will.

In the short time that we spoke, which was about half an hour, I learned more about this young man than I learned about many of my friends during our first few months of friendship.  I also believe that this young man walked away with a newfound faith and a certainty that he had longed for, for a lifetime.  To God be the glory!  You see, I am not the kind of person that believes in sugarcoating this thing called faith; I am not going to paint out a life spent with Jesus to be a life free from pain, struggle, tears or hurt.  However, as long as there is breath in these lungs I will forever let you know that in the midst of the pain and the tears, there will always be an indescribable peace and an unspeakable joy that can only come from Jesus.

Back to our topic, delayed or unanswered?…  When I was growing up, my grandmother, who was a mighty woman of faith, used to say, “Baby girl, there will always be times when God seems distant but that’s when you have to stand a little firmer, pray a little harder and trust a little longer.”  I’m not going to even lie and say that I understood what she meant by that but as I’ve grown up, had a family of my own, and continued my own walk with the Lord, I have begun to understand many of her words a little bit better.  349_1920x1080_angel_vs_demon

You see, we all have times when we want to give up or we feel stagnated in some part of our lives.  I’m sure many, if not all, of us have had times when we have prayed to some ‘higher being’ and things just didn’t pan out the way we thought they would.  It is very easy to stop believing, to stop trusting, and to give up on faith during those times but that is the trick of the enemy.  The enemy wants you to believe that there is no God or that God is not listening to you but that is a lie from the pit of hell!  The truth is that God does listen, God does care and God is real!

There are times when we, as parents, avoid giving our own children things that will harm them or take them off of the path that they are supposed to be traveling on.  If we, as parents, think about our children in this way and want to prevent them from ever being hurt in any way, what do you believe the God of all creation thinks about concerning us and our well-being?

DISCLAIMER: I take full responsibility, retaliation and backlash for the following statement: I honestly believe that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer; there is either yes or no.

Man-Praying-at-DawnMany times, it is not that God has not answered our prayers.  Many times, God has either answered the  prayer with a “No” and that is why it feels like He did not answer us because He has answered in a way that we were not really expecting or open to.  And, sometimes, His answer is “Yes” and everything works out the way we thought it should or even better.  What we have to remember is that everything will be answered in the end so, whether or not we understand God’s Will, we can rest assured that we will fully understand everything (the good, the bad and the ugly) that happened, in this life, when we get to eternity.

My goal, in every post that I write, is to make you think, not to change your mind or belief, just to give you something to chew on.  If you happen to get something more out of the thoughts written into this blog that is wonderful but the goal is to really just present a new perspective about very real issues, subjects or questions that we all may have thought about at one point or another.

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To reject or not to reject?

So, maybe it’s just me but have you ever told someone, as kind as you possibly could, that they were not “the One” for you and they just had a total meltdown?

54067-End-Of-A-RelationshipWell, I have some firsthand knowledge of this and it almost always goes the same way. Maybe the guy is either too wounded to really see how possessive and insecure he is (has been) and he pleads with you to stay without truly hearing your heart or he flips out, makes false accusations and tries to make you feel like you are making the biggest mistake of your life.

Ever experienced either of those two scenarios? I honestly don’t get either one. There are “plenty of fish in the sea,” as some say, and all of us can move on to other people, and relationships, that will cherish and love us for who we are without giving another solitude thought to the hurt that someone else may have bestowed upon us.

Rejection is not the end of the world and sometimes it’s not even rejection. Sometimes it’s just a mature person, understanding that a particular relationship is not going anywhere or bringing to their life the things that they desire, and so they make the choice to end things rather than leading the other person on and making things more difficult in the long run.

So, why do we get all hung up on the perceived rejection of others? And, more importantly, how do we get over it? I have my theory and I invite you to disagree or agree as you see fit.

Here are a few things that I feel we could all do to improve the way we address rejection and react to certain situations…

GODendsKNOW YOUR WORTH

I, honestly, believe that we sometimes do not understand our worth. Many times when we are young, we feel we have our whole lives ahead of us and then something happens… we begin to get older, and life begins to feel like it’s getting shorter and shorter. This causes some of us to settle for less than we think, or God says, we deserve. I believe when you know your worth, you won’t settle but rather you will continue to go at it alone until the “right One” comes along, no matter how long that may take.

DEVELOP A HEALTHY & UNBIASED VIEW OF YOURSELF

If we don’t regularly take a good look in the mirror, we can be deceived into thinking we are someone, or something, that we’re not. There are so many men, and women, in this world that just accept anything and behave as society dictates is okay and have lost the very essence of who they are as a result. They compromise their morals and disregard their beliefs but still think they are “good people” or “gentlemen & ladies”. Really? I’m sorry but last time I checked, being a gentleman (or a lady) meant that when you went out on a date you went without the expectation of, or even the insinuation of, receiving anything physical/ sexual in return.

KNOW YOUR PURPOSE & LIVE THAT OUTtimewaits

When you are more concerned with living your life’s purpose and fulfilling your dreams, you really have no time to waste on people who may not understand or support where you are going (or where you desire to be someday). Because of this, it is so important that you know what you were put on this Earth to do and that you actually do it!

MOVE ON

Truth is, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, you shouldn’t try and make them stay. They will only, in time, grow to resent you and all that you stand for. My grandmother always said, “When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.” This simply meant that when someone shows you who they are and what they are all about, just know that this is their true nature, so don’t try to change them, just believe what they are showing you. You cannot be offended if you don’t take things personal, period. God is pointing out some things you may want to take a good look at and decide if this is the type of person you want to live with for a lifetime. If not, then be glad that you dodged a bullet and was shown some difficult things before you actually committed your time, effort, energy and life to this other person.

DON’T GIVE UP

The right person will eventually come along. Whether that be a day or 50 years from now, they WILL present themselves and it’s up to you to be ready for them when they come. That means getting into a good situation and truly understanding who you are and what you want out of a relationship before you commit to being with someone else. This could also apply to non-romantic relationships as well because sometimes we have to end friendships and other relationships in our lives either because they’re toxic or unfulfilling or otherwise unhealthy for us to be in.

So, tell me… is it just me? What advice would you give to someone who has to make the difficult decision to end a relationship (whether it be romantic or a friendship)? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!