Tag Archives: childhood

Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

There are some days that you would never want to live over again. Then there are those days that you relive year after year, and you absolutely wouldn’t trade those moments for anything in the world. This is one of those days for our family… Those “good” days…

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Today is my second daughter’s birthday. She turned 10 years old today. It seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with her and experiencing some of the craziest emotions I’ve ever experienced in my life, up until that point at least. My husband, at the time, and I had just found out we were expecting again and he had also just received his first orders to deploy to Iraq within a couple of months.

I remember being scared out of my mind because not only were we in unknown territory, due to being stationed at Fort Campbell, KY and only being there for about 3 weeks before finding out we were with child, but my husband was leaving American soil and actually being sent to a foreign land where soldiers were being killed left and right. Nervous? Scared? Honestly, I think I was more petrified than anything at that point.

To make a long story short, he ended up leaving right before Thanksgiving that year and the holidays definitely were not the same without him. I ended up going to visit my family back in Illinois and the day after I got there we had a beautiful and healthy, yet tiny, 4 lb 8 oz baby girl. I had gone into labor prematurely. The doctors all said that it was due to me being stressed about my husband’s safety and now having two children, instead of just the one, to care for alone if anything were to happen to him.

I don’t know what caused me to go into labor early but I do know that this is definitely one of those days… Those good days that I will always remember and hope to never ever forget.

Welcome Lil’ Lady

So, you can say I’m a proud mommy right now. I’m going to brag for a second so don’t shoot me and don’t hate. (smiles) First of all, my 9-year old daughter was a contest winner, with Poetic Power, and had one of her poems selected for inclusion in their quarterly book.

Yes, yes, she can officially say that she is a PUBLISHED WRITER now!!!!

Now, my eldest daughter, who has been begging me for months to start blogging, has started her own blog. I figure she will be able to really perfect her craft of writing and, with this, she will be able to decide if this is something she would want to do for a career or just as a hobby as she grows and goes through life. Either way, win-win for her and I am so proud of how much she has accomplished in such a short period of time.

So, this post is to let you all know that my baby girl officially published her first blog post today and she is super excited, as am I…if you couldn’t already tell. (smiles again) I can see this being the beginning of something great and we would love, love, LOVE for you all to visit and support her blog as you have supported mine! Imani tends to love music and has always been an excellent writer. So, without further ado, please allow me introduce you all to a budding blogger and my very beautiful and insanely talented daughter, Imani.

Now, go and show her some love!

You can check out her blog at: http://imaniivey.wix.com/manimusic. Looking forward to many more blog posts and big things in the future. Until next time Wordies! Love ya much!

How to Ruin Your Child in 7 Easy Steps

oas_9781621885054_270I am on this journey of reading different devotionals and books. I had not been able to read as much as I’d like to however, lately, I have had this “extra” time on my hands and decided to fill that time with God and with reading. It has been truly refreshing. Recently, I was sent a new devotional, through my Bible app, and I decided to check it out. It was entitled “How to Ruin Your Child in 7 Easy Steps”. Yeah, it was a little weird to me too as first but I promise you I am not making this up.

Usually when we think of having children and raising them, we typically don’t think of harming them and we definitely don’t entertain the thought of ruiningSeven-deadly-sins them. However, as I was reading through this devotional, I began to understand how we really can (and do) ruin our children and make life harder for them, and ourselves, than we may realize. Obviously, this devotional is Biblically-based and, as such, often refers to passages of scripture or sin that opens the door to a parent or guardian ruining their child.

So, here’s a little history (or cheat sheet) on the 7 deadly sins, which is hard-work-vs-lazinessultimately what is used to show how we can ruin our children. The seven deadly sins can be found in various books of the Holy Bible. Here is the breakdown:

  • Lust – to have an intense desire or need: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
    adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
  • Gluttony – excess in eating and drinking: “for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags” (Proverbs 23:21).
  • Greed – excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness (interest in acquiring money or other material things): “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more” (Ephesians 4:19).wrath
  • Sloth – disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous: laziness: “The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway” (Proverbs 15:19).
  • Wrath – strong vengeful anger or indignation: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
  • Envy – painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage: envyjealousy: “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:1-2).
  • Pride – quality or state of being proud: inordinate self-esteem: haughty or puffed up: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall”
    (Proverbs 16:18).

As you can see, many of these sins are not things we would normally greed-quotes-1consider to be that bad (or that big of a deal) but God looks at these traits differently than we do. Sometimes we are operating in these things and we do not even know it. Even when someone tries to point these things out in us, many times, we will accuse that other person of being mean or insensitive or just plain wrong about us. Sometimes that may be true but what if they are right about us? Then what?

We often hear people complaining about society and how the world isn’t like it used to be and our youth are not as respectful, compassionate, thoughtful as they used to be but let me pose this question to you. Do
you understand that many of these complaints stem from the way
someone was raised?

pride-quotes-8God has given us, who are parents in any way, the responsibility to raise our children to become the adults that we want to see them become. Raising a child is more than just providing for them financially and physically but it is guiding them spiritually, mentally and emotionally. It is giving them opportunities to make mistakes while they are still under your guidance and care so that you can correct them and help them to understand why something is “this way” and not “that way.” I would encourage any of you that have been given the opportunity to impact the life of a child, in any way, to read this devotional. I truly believe in the saying, “when you KNOW better, you DO better.”

Why I Stayed…

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With all of the talk about Domestic Violence lately, I figured now is as good a time as any to tell my “Why I Stayed” story. I used to live in a shelter for abused women and their children. It was there that I learned how domestic violence encompasses not only physical abuse, but mental and sexual abuse as well. Before we get into that, let me give you a little history and show you how it may correlate to someone staying in a relationship that is no good for them.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home, much like the rest of the world, but I did not realize how dysfunctional it was until I got older and after I’d had a couple of children of my own. My father was in the Navy for most of my childhood. My mother was a stay-at-home mom but ended up working full-time, outside of the home, a few years before she and my dad divorced. Growing up I saw my parents argue and fight with each other and I always thought that was normal.

Sidenote: I think that kids should see their parents argue but I also feel that they should see them resolve their issues and make-up… I mean, how else can we teach them problem solving skills and to work with people who are different than they are, if they always think that everything is easy and the 2 most important people in their lives never have any issues???

The arguing quickly turned into physical fighting and, even as a child, I knew that this was not right. I saw my dad grab and hit my mother in ways that a man should never place his hands on a woman. I remember wanting to protect my mother, and actually trying to physically protect her a time or two, only to be slapped or knocked unconscious myself. I also remember, as my siblings and I got older, my younger brother and my dad physically fighting like they didn’t know and love each other. It appalls me to think that my father, being the adult and thought to be “mature one” in the matter, thought this was okay.

Continue reading Why I Stayed…

Giving and Teaching

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.”    

— Chinese Proverb

This may very well be one of my favorite quotes in the entire world of quotes. When I think about this a story comes to mind about my childhood. My grandmother, who practically raised me when my mom and dad divorced because my mom worked nights, used to always use random quotes to get her point across while she tried to teach us unruly kid something about life. One of the quotes that I heard her say was the quote mentioned here. I never quite knew what it meant but I guess I had a good idea, even at that time, and I definitely would find out later in life exactly what these words entailed.

I am the second oldest of 4 but I am the oldest daughter of my sister and I. One day, as I was playing outside on one of the hottest summer days of the summer of 1995, I heard the ice cream truck so I quickly ran into the house, where my grandmother was cooking and I asked her for some money so that I could get some ice cream. Being the awesome and loving grandmother that she was, she gave me some money and I went to the truck and got my ice cream. Little did I know, there was a lesson waiting to be taught and grandma was just about ready to teach it.

You see, this had been my third time that week asking her for money although she would give me money for doing chores and things around the house, I ran through that money like it was “growing on trees” (another fave of granny, lol). As many kids this age – I had just turned 10 years old at that time – I felt like my family was rich and if I asked them for something, they just HAD to give it to me because I was their “baby” and, on top of that, I was the “good” child. Oh, don’t tell me…you’ve never thought that way, right? I know… 🙂

So, one day, during this same week, I had come home from day camp and was, again, playing outside. It was another scorching hot day, and I am still not sure how I didn’t pass out from exhaustion or dehydration because I hated drinking water at that age. I heard the ice cream truck and what do you think happened?… Yes, you’re right… I ran inside to ask grandma for some money but this time my awesome and loving grandmother was prepared. Before I could get a full sentence out, I guess she knew I was coming to ask for the almighty dollar once again, she stopped me and said, “Baby girl, I am not giving you any more money.” You would have thought that I had seen a ghost, I was totally caught off guard by this. Grandma continued, “However, I will help you make some money and even buy some things to show you how to continue to make money on your own.” You see, grandma was trying to “teach me how to fish” and she did. It was in that moment when I truly realized what this old Chinese proverb had meant.

To make a long story short, grandma and I went to the store, I believe it was Sams Club, and bought almost all of the boxes of small bags of chips, juices, freeze pops, nacho chips, ground beef, jalapenos and nacho cheese. Grandma even cooked the ground beef and warmed the cheese for me to make the nachos and before long our house became known as the “Candy Store” and was where all of the kids (both young and old) came to get their goodies. That was the beginning of my little side business and I setup shop every summer from then on, until we moved from that area. The lesson that I learned that day was more valuable than I think I realized at that time and it is now what I attribute my entrepreneurial spirit to today.

So, join in the discussion…share your stories, favorite quotes, anything that has ushered you into becoming the person that you are today. I’d love to hear them and learn about you.

Happy reading!

Stay Phenomenal,

ReNewed Chick