So, maybe it’s just me but have you ever told someone, as kind as you possibly could, that they were not “the One” for you and they just had a total meltdown?
Well, I have some firsthand knowledge of this and it almost always goes the same way. Maybe the guy is either too wounded to really see how possessive and insecure he is (has been) and he pleads with you to stay without truly hearing your heart or he flips out, makes false accusations and tries to make you feel like you are making the biggest mistake of your life.
Ever experienced either of those two scenarios? I honestly don’t get either one. There are “plenty of fish in the sea,” as some say, and all of us can move on to other people, and relationships, that will cherish and love us for who we are without giving another solitude thought to the hurt that someone else may have bestowed upon us.
Rejection is not the end of the world and sometimes it’s not even rejection. Sometimes it’s just a mature person, understanding that a particular relationship is not going anywhere or bringing to their life the things that they desire, and so they make the choice to end things rather than leading the other person on and making things more difficult in the long run.
So, why do we get all hung up on the perceived rejection of others? And, more importantly, how do we get over it? I have my theory and I invite you to disagree or agree as you see fit.
Here are a few things that I feel we could all do to improve the way we address rejection and react to certain situations…
I, honestly, believe that we sometimes do not understand our worth. Many times when we are young, we feel we have our whole lives ahead of us and then something happens… we begin to get older, and life begins to feel like it’s getting shorter and shorter. This causes some of us to settle for less than we think, or God says, we deserve. I believe when you know your worth, you won’t settle but rather you will continue to go at it alone until the “right One” comes along, no matter how long that may take.
DEVELOP A HEALTHY & UNBIASED VIEW OF YOURSELF
If we don’t regularly take a good look in the mirror, we can be deceived into thinking we are someone, or something, that we’re not. There are so many men, and women, in this world that just accept anything and behave as society dictates is okay and have lost the very essence of who they are as a result. They compromise their morals and disregard their beliefs but still think they are “good people” or “gentlemen & ladies”. Really? I’m sorry but last time I checked, being a gentleman (or a lady) meant that when you went out on a date you went without the expectation of, or even the insinuation of, receiving anything physical/ sexual in return.
When you are more concerned with living your life’s purpose and fulfilling your dreams, you really have no time to waste on people who may not understand or support where you are going (or where you desire to be someday). Because of this, it is so important that you know what you were put on this Earth to do and that you actually do it!
Truth is, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, you shouldn’t try and make them stay. They will only, in time, grow to resent you and all that you stand for. My grandmother always said, “When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.” This simply meant that when someone shows you who they are and what they are all about, just know that this is their true nature, so don’t try to change them, just believe what they are showing you. You cannot be offended if you don’t take things personal, period. God is pointing out some things you may want to take a good look at and decide if this is the type of person you want to live with for a lifetime. If not, then be glad that you dodged a bullet and was shown some difficult things before you actually committed your time, effort, energy and life to this other person.
DON’T GIVE UP
The right person will eventually come along. Whether that be a day or 50 years from now, they WILL present themselves and it’s up to you to be ready for them when they come. That means getting into a good situation and truly understanding who you are and what you want out of a relationship before you commit to being with someone else. This could also apply to non-romantic relationships as well because sometimes we have to end friendships and other relationships in our lives either because they’re toxic or unfulfilling or otherwise unhealthy for us to be in.
So, tell me… is it just me? What advice would you give to someone who has to make the difficult decision to end a relationship (whether it be romantic or a friendship)? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!