Have you ever felt judged for being a single mother? I know I sure have felt my share of judgment but none like that which has come from some of the married women that I know and work with. Every woman in my department is married and I work with majority women so that is saying a lot. Working in an office environment, there is always the usual “Morning Round-Up” as I like to call it. We are all typically engaged in conversation, bright and early, when everyone is getting in to work and the conversation is usually about what we each did the night before or whatnot. Then the conversation always ends up taking a “turn for the worst” (as I like to call it). This is the moment when something is mentioned about one of my coworkers’ husbands and the question is asked of me, only for them to remember that I am divorced so I no longer have the same experiences that they may have, being married. Shortly afterwards, I can feel the unspoken (and sometimes spoken) judgment and there is always that awkward silence that accompanies it.
Now, I know that people try to respect my feelings but I am not a wounded puppy that needs (or wants) to be pitied by anyone…especially people that I work with but that is many times what I am made to feel like; as if I am fragile and will break. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I do feel this way but then there are also many times when I just feel annoyed by this type of treatment. I am very happy for the people in this world that try to respect single mothers feelings but I also wish the rest of the world would understand that we are human, just like they are, and that some of us have actually healed and are fine with the place that we have found ourselves in, in our lives.
The fact that I am a single mom is something to be celebrated and appreciated, not looked down upon by society…and more importantly, by those who happen to be married. As a single mom, I take care of all of my own bills (and household repairs, while we’re on the subject) so I would like to think that I am doing my thing. I would think that society would embrace the single mother, instead of judging us however, that is not always the case. All I ask is that society not treat us like the black sheep, or the “elephant in the room”, just because we happen to be single mothers. Not all of us got to this place willingly. We are not the first and, unfortunately, we probably won’t be the last.
My desire is to help single mothers in whatever way that I possibly can, which is the reason for this post. I am tired of the bad light that is cast upon single mothers and feel like there needs to be a change in this world and someone has got to speak out and take a stand. Someone who will talk about the things that no one else wants to discuss; who will not waver in their efforts. I am ready, and willing, to be that person, for this time, because enough is enough. So, who will join me in helping to erase the dark shadow that is many times cast upon the single mother? I sure hope you will.
Signing off for now!
A Fellow Single Mom